Rete

> No. I think you'll find that is a problem associated with Old Age.
>

Nah ... not old age, mexxie. It is a dream state induced by
contemplating one's navel a little too long ;-)

Meauxna

> Nah ... not old age, mexxie. It is a dream state induced by
> contemplating one's navel a little too long ;-)

ha hA! How did I know you'd have something to add on that topic? <g>

Rete

> ha hA! How did I know you'd have something to add on that topic? <g>

Hey, I ain't old ... I'm the new middle ager !!!!

SecretGarden

> I was unemployed for 4 months. Fortunately, Sheila is independently
> wealthy and was able to support me in a manner worthy of my station in
> life. We got a French maid to keep the house clean and hired Paul
> James to keep our garden up to snuff. On weekends, when we have
> nothing better to do, we buy and sell real estate... increasing our
> wealth tenfold each month...
>
> <WHACK>
>
> Oh... damn... does anyone else have those moments when you just sort
> of find your mind wandering?
>
> Ian

He's on the glue again.....
~SecretGarden

marymiss22

MH: here is why:
I was there last year for long periods of time and had nothing to do
at home, pretty much all day. Paris is beautiful, but once you have
been through every single museum and nice places, you get bored there,
just like anywhere else in the world. So, when he got home after a long
day at work, I was often not in a good mood cuz I was bored! often that
created tension. Also, because we were living on one income, things we
could do were limited, source of more unhappiness, even though me
managed. So, having been through it once, we really don't want to go
through it again after we get married, we want to do things right.
And fortunately, he is the only french guy I know who is not looking to
come to the US for work! (I know, I could not be live that for the
first 2 years either!). He is pretty happy there, has a good job, a
house, makes more than most french, has his family and friends there,
etc. He tried to convince me to stay there(to the point of buying a
house I wanted!), but as much I love paris, I could not see myself
living there (don't even get me started why!), even though I tried
really hard for a year. So, if it were not for me, he would not even
think about coming to the US :-)

Also, we intend to keep the house he has in france and we need to make
payments on it.

And Renee really does say it well: all those reasons apply as well! :-)
Not to mention health insurance and other stuff.

MH wrote:
> In article <>,
> <> wrote:
> >Ok, let me clarify:
> >He is french. I am american. Basically, we want the fastest way that
> >allows him to get a job here, and he does not want to have to be here
> >while he cannot work (and get bored at home!). So, we'd like to start
> >the process and have him go back to france and continue his life there
> >while the work permit is being processed. Depending on how long this
> >will take, he may just come back to the US to visit me as a tourist
> >again for just a few days. He has no intention of staying here for more
> >than a few days while he cannot work.
>
> I'm sure it's just me, but.. This sends up a small red flag - why is he so
> intent on only being here if is working? Are you his ticket to a job in the
> US?
>
> MH

Capt. Tuttle

wrote:
> MH: here is why:
> I was there last year for long periods of time and had nothing to do
> at home, pretty much all day. Paris is beautiful, but once you have
> been through every single museum and nice places, you get bored there,
> just like anywhere else in the world. So, when he got home after a long
> day at work, I was often not in a good mood cuz I was bored! often that
> created tension. Also, because we were living on one income, things we
> could do were limited, source of more unhappiness, even though me
> managed. So, having been through it once, we really don't want to go
> through it again after we get married, we want to do things right.
> And fortunately, he is the only french guy I know who is not looking to
> come to the US for work! (I know, I could not be live that for the
> first 2 years either!). He is pretty happy there, has a good job, a
> house, makes more than most french, has his family and friends there,
> etc. He tried to convince me to stay there(to the point of buying a
> house I wanted!), but as much I love paris, I could not see myself
> living there (don't even get me started why!), even though I tried
> really hard for a year. So, if it were not for me, he would not even
> think about coming to the US :-)
>
> Also, we intend to keep the house he has in france and we need to make
> payments on it.
>
> And Renee really does say it well: all those reasons apply as well! :-)
> Not to mention health insurance and other stuff.
>

Bored in Paris? I don't understand that at all. You said he "makes more
than most French". I just got back from France with my wife who came
here on a K-1 visa. I made many trips to Paris before that, and like
you, could not live there. Of all the things I could say about France in
general and Paris in particular "bored" isn't one of them. If you tire
of Paris travel in France is a lot cheaper than in the U.S.
We know a couple (She is a USC. He is French). She did live in France
with her husband for a few years. They now live in the U.S. He has not
been able to adjust very well at all. His problem isn't being bored. His
problem is the American way of life, being away from his family, and a
general "things were better in France attitude.
Has your "French guy" been here for long periods of time? Does he know
he can find a job quickly? Does he know how different it is here? I
certainly hope the answer to these questions is yes. If not you might
have many more problems than how quickly he can go to work.
Please don't get me wrong. I wish you all the best, and hope everything
works out for the best. I just have to wonder if you are asking the
right questions.

marymiss22

yes, I managed to get bored in paris! I did travel a lot throughout
europe, but still, I realized that not having a job is not the best
thing in the world even if you are in paris (sort of having a real
purpose for waking up in the morning!). spending endless hours in cafes
and going places cannot be one's whole life. of course in france things
are harder to do than in the US, for instance I decided to go to
martial art classes, well, seems easy here, not there! My doctor had to
approve it, then I had to go to a waiting list and wait for new term to
begin, and then sign a one year contract. So I did not go. Paris is
great, if you go there for vacation, but for living, I prefer it here.
He knows US pretty well, he has spend a lot of time here and he knows
and likes our way of life. We'll just have to go back regularly for him
to visit his family and friends, and of course, hang out at cartier
latin ;-)
As for jobs, there are a lot of them available for him here. He put up
his resume and got amazing response, of course they'd all back out as
soon as he mentioned he was not allowed to work! So, we are pretty sure
that soon after he has permission to work, he can get a job, I will
quit mine and will spend endless days doing nothing the american way!
;-) Kidding!
We both agree that there is no point for him to let go of everything
while he cannot work here. Both financially and emotionally it can hurt
us and our relationship, so we prefer to wait. But again, being apart
is hard and we prefer to wait as little as possible. plus, we are
contributing a bit too to the airlines charity funds as things are
right now since we visit every few weeks!
But thanks for all the concerns and nice messages... I do appreciate it
all :-)
Capt. Tuttle wrote:
> wrote:
> > MH: here is why:
> > I was there last year for long periods of time and had nothing to do
> > at home, pretty much all day. Paris is beautiful, but once you have
> > been through every single museum and nice places, you get bored there,
> > just like anywhere else in the world. So, when he got home after a long
> > day at work, I was often not in a good mood cuz I was bored! often that
> > created tension. Also, because we were living on one income, things we
> > could do were limited, source of more unhappiness, even though me
> > managed. So, having been through it once, we really don't want to go
> > through it again after we get married, we want to do things right.
> > And fortunately, he is the only french guy I know who is not looking to
> > come to the US for work! (I know, I could not be live that for the
> > first 2 years either!). He is pretty happy there, has a good job, a
> > house, makes more than most french, has his family and friends there,
> > etc. He tried to convince me to stay there(to the point of buying a
> > house I wanted!), but as much I love paris, I could not see myself
> > living there (don't even get me started why!), even though I tried
> > really hard for a year. So, if it were not for me, he would not even
> > think about coming to the US :-)
> >
> > Also, we intend to keep the house he has in france and we need to make
> > payments on it.
> >
> > And Renee really does say it well: all those reasons apply as well! :-)
> > Not to mention health insurance and other stuff.
> >
>
> Bored in Paris? I don't understand that at all. You said he "makes more
> than most French". I just got back from France with my wife who came
> here on a K-1 visa. I made many trips to Paris before that, and like
> you, could not live there. Of all the things I could say about France in
> general and Paris in particular "bored" isn't one of them. If you tire
> of Paris travel in France is a lot cheaper than in the U.S.
> We know a couple (She is a USC. He is French). She did live in France
> with her husband for a few years. They now live in the U.S. He has not
> been able to adjust very well at all. His problem isn't being bored. His
> problem is the American way of life, being away from his family, and a
> general "things were better in France attitude.
> Has your "French guy" been here for long periods of time? Does he know
> he can find a job quickly? Does he know how different it is here? I
> certainly hope the answer to these questions is yes. If not you might
> have many more problems than how quickly he can go to work.
> Please don't get me wrong. I wish you all the best, and hope everything
> works out for the best. I just have to wonder if you are asking the
> right questions.

Meauxna

> Hey, I ain't old ... I'm the new middle ager !!!!

hmmm, does that make me the new 20-something?

That would mean SG must be the new teenager.... <g>

Noorah101

> yes, I managed to get bored in paris! I did travel a lot throughout
> europe, but still, I realized that not having a job is not the best
> thing in the world even if you are in paris (sort of having a real
> purpose for waking up in the morning!). spending endless hours in
> cafes
> and going places cannot be one's whole life. of course in france
> things
> are harder to do than in the US, for instance I decided to go to
> martial art classes, well, seems easy here, not there! My doctor had
> to
> approve it, then I had to go to a waiting list and wait for new term
> to
> begin, and then sign a one year contract. So I did not go. Paris is
> great, if you go there for vacation, but for living, I prefer it here.
> He knows US pretty well, he has spend a lot of time here and he knows
> and likes our way of life. We'll just have to go back regularly for
> him
> to visit his family and friends, and of course, hang out at cartier
> latin ;-)
> As for jobs, there are a lot of them available for him here. He put up
> his resume and got amazing response, of course they'd all back out as
> soon as he mentioned he was not allowed to work! So, we are pretty
> sure
> that soon after he has permission to work, he can get a job, I will
> quit mine and will spend endless days doing nothing the american way!
> ;-) Kidding!
> We both agree that there is no point for him to let go of everything
> while he cannot work here. Both financially and emotionally it can
> hurt
> us and our relationship, so we prefer to wait. But again, being apart
> is hard and we prefer to wait as little as possible. plus, we are
> contributing a bit too to the airlines charity funds as things are
> right now since we visit every few weeks!
> But thanks for all the concerns and nice messages... I do appreciate
> it
> all :-)
> Capt. Tuttle wrote:
> > wrote:
> > > MH: here is why:
> > > I was there last year for long periods of time and had nothing
> > > to do
> > > at home, pretty much all day. Paris is beautiful, but once you
> > > have
> > > been through every single museum and nice places, you get
> > > bored there,
> > > just like anywhere else in the world. So, when he got home
> > > after a long
> > > day at work, I was often not in a good mood cuz I was bored!
> > > often that
> > > created tension. Also, because we were living on one income,
> > > things we
> > > could do were limited, source of more unhappiness, even though
> > > me
> > > managed. So, having been through it once, we really don't want
> > > to go
> > > through it again after we get married, we want to do things
> > > right.
> > > And fortunately, he is the only french guy I know who is not
> > > looking to
> > > come to the US for work! (I know, I could not be live that for
> > > the
> > > first 2 years either!). He is pretty happy there, has a good
> > > job, a
> > > house, makes more than most french, has his family and friends
> > > there,
> > > etc. He tried to convince me to stay there(to the point of
> > > buying a
> > > house I wanted!), but as much I love paris, I could not see
> > > myself
> > > living there (don't even get me started why!), even though I
> > > tried
> > > really hard for a year. So, if it were not for me, he would
> > > not even
> > > think about coming to the US :-)
> > >
> > > Also, we intend to keep the house he has in france and we need to
> > > make
> > > payments on it.
> > >
> > > And Renee really does say it well: all those reasons apply as
> > > well! :-)
> > > Not to mention health insurance and other stuff.
> > >
> > Bored in Paris? I don't understand that at all. You said he "makes
> > more
> > than most French". I just got back from France with my wife who came
> > here on a K-1 visa. I made many trips to Paris before that, and like
> > you, could not live there. Of all the things I could say about
> > France in
> > general and Paris in particular "bored" isn't one of them. If you
> > tire
> > of Paris travel in France is a lot cheaper than in the U.S.
> > We know a couple (She is a USC. He is French). She did live in
> > France
> > with her husband for a few years. They now live in the U.S. He has
> > not
> > been able to adjust very well at all. His problem isn't being bored.
> > His
> > problem is the American way of life, being away from his family, and
> > a
> > general "things were better in France attitude.
> > Has your "French guy" been here for long periods of time? Does he
> > know
> > he can find a job quickly? Does he know how different it is here? I
> > certainly hope the answer to these questions is yes. If not you
> > might
> > have many more problems than how quickly he can go to work.
> > Please don't get me wrong. I wish you all the best, and hope
> > everything
> > works out for the best. I just have to wonder if you are asking the
> > right questions.

I understand what you mean. On my first 3 trips to Istanbul, I thought
I'd never get bored there...there is so much history, so much to see,
so many places to go....but believe me, on my 4th trip, I was bored.
I'd had enough of being a tourist, yet I didn't live there (living
there would be different, as I'd have a household and shopping to
do...). I told my husband if he goes back for a visit, I'm not going
this time! lol


I think that's a wise and mature approach, and I commend you for it.

Rene