Anonymous

Why I Welcome Nuclear War

The prospect of nuclear war is so horrifying that few even take the time to think about.
In just a few thousandths of a second the world would be instantaneously transformed.
All bets will be off, all contracts voided by force majure. The souls of every human being
alive that day will have a new, indelible impression burned in them. I cant wait for that
day.

Actually, more pointedly, Im wishing for a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. I
dont really want these people to die, but hey, thats business. You see my soul was just
traded for theirs. Like thousands of other I have found myself out of work and unable to
find a new job. Prospects get dimmer every day. I have 20 years of solid experience, and
enviable track record, solid credentials, everything else an employer could want. Except
Im from the wrong country. Im NOT from India. I was a programmer, but not
anymore. My previous and prospective employers have decided to trade their
investment in me for somebody cheaper in India. It was nothing personal, just business.
At my age, its really too late for me to train to do something else and become good at it.

So for me a nuclear war between India and Pakistan just makes really sound business
sense. Im unable to compete with someone that lives in a country where the cost of
living is 10 of mine. Id be willing to go to work in India, but India doesnt allow
foreign workers to enter their country. It only works the other way around. So nuclear
war between India and Pakistan would create great new opportunities for me.

If youre in the same boat as I am, think of the possibilities. You wake up one day to find
that youre competition has been vaporized. Maybe a half million of them. Their ability
to recover from this disaster is greatly diminished. I could take decades. Meanwhile,
their customers, the great American Corporations that once employed you would be
desperate for your help. You could name your own price, create any terms and demand
any conditions. They wouldnt have much of a choice. Where else would they go?

I know it sounds harsh, but remember, we cant put emotion into business decisions. I
dont recall there being any emotion when the decision to outsource my last four jobs
came. In fact, I didnt receive any reassuring words. For the most part I was asked to
dig my own grave. If I wanted to stay on for two extra months, I had to train my
replacements, Sandjee, and Vaidyanathan. I dont recall either of those two characters
having any emotion about the fact that they flew in from a foreign country to steal my
livelihood.

So while Im sure some tears will be shed over the fact that some lives may be lost, what
the hell do I care? Its a business decision. Besides, theyre all the way around the globe.
Their war shouldnt affect me too much. Im sure the global economy will suffer, but
what the heck, I should be sitting pretty in a cushy new job. After all if there is a major
world war, theyll need programmers right? Thats all I care about. I dont think that
Pakistan or India have any missiles that can reach the US. So why should I be worried?
Ill be making lots of money and Ive learned that thats the most important thing.

So if youre in the same boat as I, please join me tonight an let pray for war. A nuclear
war between India and Pakistan. They hate each other anyway, and besides, its not
personal, its business.
-=-
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