Krissyv

The law in NZ is that its a gift & as such the ring doesn't have to
be returned.

But if you want to get technical I truelly believe that as the contract
(promise of marriage) with offer & acceptance of engagement was made in
NZ then New Zealand law applies - also he was in breach of the contract
with his cheating

I guess one bonus is that as I'm a lawyer my boss has promised as much
free legal work & support that I need to fight this...

No I'm not going to keep the ring, I'm going to sell it and recoup
the costs from my trip ($3500.00) plus other costs I have incurred
because of him.

If he had done this and not gotten abusive or threatening, if he'd just
apologised I would have happily given him the balance but now I'm coping
with the mental stress of all his threats & don't feel like I owe him
any favours....

Maybe its not the best attitude but I'm hurt, shocked, and angry...

Krissy

PS Rene - taken your advice and am too concerned if I would get in at
the POE so will cancell the ticket & just absorb the cost. My safety
is more important than losing afew grand.

Krissyv

Yep the petition is still with CSC but we are about two days from my
prediction having it accepted or RFE'ed - he has refused to withdraw it
and said he is contacting CSC on Monday to report that I had fraudulent
intent etc etc...

I think that's how he's planning to get me barred...he also has
my initerary so am concerned he will try & do something to me if
I go up....

This is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me & it just
seems to be getting worse.

But - I do appreciate your comments & support - bigs hugs to all of you!

Krissy

Saidsgirl

Originally posted by krissyv

    > Yep the petition is still with CSC but we are about two days from my
    > prediction having it accepted or RFE'ed - he has refused to withdraw
    > it and said he is contacting CSC on Monday to report that I had
    > fraudulent intent etc etc...

    > I think that's how he's planning to get me barred...he also has
    > my initerary so am concerned he will try & do something to me if
    > I go up....

    > This is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me & it just
    > seems to be getting worse.

    > But - I do appreciate your comments & support - bigs hugs to
    > all of you!

    > Krissy



Krissy...



You're an intelligent woman and no doubt have already done this...but
I'd print out those emails of his and make a nice file for INS so that
you can at least come here to see your brother!



Just because you got caught up with a complete dirtbag doesn't mean YOU
should suffer the consequences. And if you bring this to the attention
of the INS before he tries to do anything obnoxious, then it might be
better for you.



Best of luck...

~kristine

Dekka'S Angel

Originally posted by krissyv

    > The law in NZ is that its a gift & as such the ring doesn't have to be
    > returned.

    >



Setting aside all the freaky deaky aspects of this situation, I hate to
be the one to bring this to your attention but in many states in the
US, any gift in contemplation of marriage, including an engagement
ring, is a conditional gift subject to return at the election of the
giver if the contract is not performed. In order to know what law
you'd be subject to, you'd need to look at the law at the state in
which your ex fiance resides.



Then you get to have some choice of law fun, because of course you're
correct in pointing out that the situs of the contract governs the
applicable law, so the question becomes whether the ring is governed by
New Zealand or whichever state's law.



Personally....I'd make him sue you in New Zealand, just because I'm evil
like that. But of course, personal service rules being what they are,
he can in theory obtain jurisdiction in a US court over you simply by
effectuating international service (assuming he can figure out how to do
that, and I assume you aren't going to tell him). If that occurs, you'd
have to at a minimum have someone make an appearance for a change of
venue and there are all sorts of conventions governing that.....



What fun.



Sorry your ex-fiance is a heel. Good luck sorting things.



P.S. I just realized your fiance is in California. The statute
that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the
ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to
give it back:



"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a
gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that
the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to
enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual
consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as
may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or
jury to be just".

Krissyv

For those that are curious - I met him in the SF in a bar (ok sounds
silly now) we dated for a few months then moved in together for three
months before I had to come home to get admitted to the bar here.

He came down twice for a few months here and proposed....

I'm pretty sure he can't do anything to me in terms of suing but just in
case I'm going to get the cash put it on TD and then if things gets
really messy & not in my favour, I'll settle, allowing for my costs...

He's from California so i'm not sure about the law there - I've heard so
many different opinions already.

His mum is a lawyer so another lawyer from my firm will contact her this
week and explain our position in terms of jurisdiction & breach of
contract. I'm sure since he's a dentist & I now how prrof of his
cheating and drug use that she wouldn't want to push this into a court
of law...keep in mind he's got his reputation to consider here

Krissy

Dekka'S Angel

Originally posted by krissyv

    > For those that are curious - I met him in the SF in a bar (ok sounds
    > silly now) we dated for a few months then moved in together for three
    > months before I had to come home to get admitted to the bar here.

    > He came down twice for a few months here and proposed....

    > I'm pretty sure he can't do anything to me in terms of suing but just
    > in case I'm going to get the cash put it on TD and then if things gets
    > really messy & not in my favour, I'll settle, allowing for my costs...

    > He's from California so i'm not sure about the law there - I've heard
    > so many different opinions already.

    > His mum is a lawyer so another lawyer from my firm will contact her
    > this week and explain our position in terms of jurisdiction & breach
    > of contract. I'm sure since he's a dentist & I now how prrof of his
    > cheating and drug use that she wouldn't want to push this into a court
    > of law...keep in mind he's got his reputation to consider here

    > Krissy



Doh we bumped heads - see my edited post above. The relevant statute is
Civil Code 1590.

Krissyv

Originally posted by Dekka's Angel

    > Doh we bumped heads - see my edited post above. The relevant statute
    > is Civil Code 1590.



Thanks just saw that - thanks!

This is obviously a situation that has not happened by mutual consent &
I believe that he stopped any contemplation of marriage by cheating on
me...I never actually said that it was off...when I found out I asked if
he new what this meant & he said yes, its over....I can't see how a
court would find in his favour...there is also an estoppel argument here
- I relied on his advice (promise of love & marriage even after he was
sleeping with other girls to my detriment) so could easily claim for all
my associated costs.....

Dutchman2001nl

Dump the F****** idiot, krissyv !!!

What an asshole !

Hypertweeky

Originally posted by krissyv

    > Hi,


    > I'm the benificiary of a K-1 petition and I have just found out that
    > my fiance has been cheating on me the last month or so with various
    > girls and also advertised for casual sex on a sex & swingers personal
    > internet site.

    > As such the engagement is off and I now need to know how to withdraw
    > the petition (he has refused)

    > Also as I refused to give the ring back, he has started threatening
    > me, to the point I am changing my cell phone today, and says he will
    > sue me, put a debt collection agency onto me for the cost & has
    > reported it to the police stolen and says that he knows a way to have
    > me barred from the US forever.

    > I am travelling to the US for Xmas as he convinced me to buy a ticket
    > to see him last week and its non refundable so I was planning to use
    > it to see me brother in SF.

    > He has said that if he tracks me down up there he will beat me up.

    > Aside from the physical threats I am concerned that he will cause
    > problems for me at the POE..

    > My question is - is it possible for him to do these things to me?

    > I am a lawyer in NZ and I know that the rule is that engagement rule
    > is agift and can be kept. As he effectively broke the engagement with
    > his cheating I believe I have the right to keep it under US law as
    > well but want to know how much trouble he can cause for me....

    > Thanks guys

    > Kris





That sucks Kris!!

Call the whole thing off and stay away

I am sorry things didn't work out and he turned to be an a55hole..

Rete

Originally posted by saidsgirl

    > I don't think she HAS the K1 yet....do you Krissy? I thought it was
    > still in progress. Does that still effect travel plans? If so, that
    > really sucks for her.





Sorry. Krissy wrote she was the beneficiary of a K-1. I read that to
be that she had the K-1 already. I see from her post that is not so.



Rete