Ex_exile

> Hiya,
>
> I am very worried about this, to the point where we are almost certain
> that she will stop contact as soon as she is made aware of our plans.
> We cannot reason with her (its over 3 years since they split - and she
> hates my hubbys guts). She does not care what she does, even to the
> point of her son suffering.
> If she got a letter witnessed to say that, as his full time parent and
> guardian, she will not allow this medical examination, do you think
> that would do? I dont think she will allow it, because she will think
> we are trying to take him with us.
> I think she would easily confirm that he lives with her, as she doesnt
> want to lose him. But would never allow permission for medical.
> I really hope this doesnt stop our plans, as i would hate her even
> more. I know hate is a strong word, and i dont use it lightly lol.
> After what she's done to the poor kid, she doesnt deserve him. But
> courts stick to mothers side, so we'd never get sole custody.
>
> Tracey

Hi Tracey

I think your biggest problem will be if she refuses to confirm anything,
then the process will run on and on, as DIMA will not have anything to
base a decision on.

Even if she does confirm that she refuses then it goes for a decision as
to whether DIMA will wave the requirement and as with all things DIMA
the criteria for this is unclear and if they will not wave the
requirement then I guess you have not meet the criteria to get the visa
so thanks for the cash but no entry!

I have just been through the being nice process and I have gotten
limited agreement. Unfortunatly the agreement is conditional and I may
still have to do some fast talking.

This issue must have effected many on this board so I'm surprised by the
lack of replies.....

ex_ex

Jaj

> Hi,
>
> just spotted this thread - wondered if you can help me.
>
> Myself and my husband are applying for a Spouse visa (i have a PR
> visa, which was validated in 2003).
>
> My husband has a son from previous marriage and he lives with his mum.
> We see him on contact every fortnight, but if she knew about our plans
> to emigrate, she would go mental!
>
> She will never allow him to have a medical, but will this delay our
> application?
>
> Andy advice would be great.
>
> Thanks, Tracey

If it's his child, why not just take him for a medical when he sees him?
He's still the parent and I don't see why his ex-wife's permission
should be needed. Talk to a family law solicitor for further advice.

How old is the child and do you know what his reaction will be to his
parent emigrating?

Jaj

> Hiya,
>
> I am very worried about this, to the point where we are almost certain
> that she will stop contact as soon as she is made aware of our plans.
> We cannot reason with her (its over 3 years since they split - and she
> hates my hubbys guts). She does not care what she does, even to the
> point of her son suffering.
> If she got a letter witnessed to say that, as his full time parent and
> guardian, she will not allow this medical examination, do you think
> that would do? I dont think she will allow it, because she will think
> we are trying to take him with us.
> I think she would easily confirm that he lives with her, as she doesnt
> want to lose him. But would never allow permission for medical.
> I really hope this doesnt stop our plans, as i would hate her even
> more. I know hate is a strong word, and i dont use it lightly lol.
> After what she's done to the poor kid, she doesnt deserve him. But
> courts stick to mothers side, so we'd never get sole custody.
>
> Tracey

Depending on the age of the child, courts might well listen to the
child's view. Especially if there is abuse or neglect involved.

And if the child is stuck with a bad parent, are you really proposing to
leave the child behind?

Leomoon

Hello Everybody,
I will further ask 2 questions regarding this topic.

Q1. What about those applicants whose kids are with their mothers
after seperation and country law is not allowing to take them with you
untill they turn into 7 years old or that lady redo marriage with
someone.

Q2. Do DIMA needs birth certificates of these kids also? What else if
you don't have their birth cerificates(I mean kids)

Q3. What if you don't mention these kids at the time of submitting
application and later, after getting immegration put their case for
immegration.

Moon

JAJ wrote:
> > Hiya,
> >
> > I am very worried about this, to the point where we are almost certain
> > that she will stop contact as soon as she is made aware of our plans.
> > We cannot reason with her (its over 3 years since they split - and she
> > hates my hubbys guts). She does not care what she does, even to the
> > point of her son suffering.
> > If she got a letter witnessed to say that, as his full time parent and
> > guardian, she will not allow this medical examination, do you think
> > that would do? I dont think she will allow it, because she will think
> > we are trying to take him with us.
> > I think she would easily confirm that he lives with her, as she doesnt
> > want to lose him. But would never allow permission for medical.
> > I really hope this doesnt stop our plans, as i would hate her even
> > more. I know hate is a strong word, and i dont use it lightly lol.
> > After what she's done to the poor kid, she doesnt deserve him. But
> > courts stick to mothers side, so we'd never get sole custody.
> >
> > Tracey
>
> Depending on the age of the child, courts might well listen to the
> child's view. Especially if there is abuse or neglect involved.
>
> And if the child is stuck with a bad parent, are you really proposing to
> leave the child behind?
>
> --
> This is not intended to be legal or professional advice in any
> jurisdiction

Ozpotty

> If it's his child, why not just take him for a medical when he sees
> him? He's still the parent and I don't see why his ex-wife's
> permission should be needed. Talk to a family law solicitor for
> further advice.
>
> How old is the child and do you know what his reaction will be to his
> parent emigrating?

Would DIMA seek any permission/contact/confirmation with the ex? Or is
it just a case that the child has the medical?
OP

Tracemul7

> If it's his child, why not just take him for a medical when he sees
> him? He's still the parent and I don't see why his ex-wife's
> permission should be needed. Talk to a family law solicitor for
> further advice.
>
> How old is the child and do you know what his reaction will be to his
> parent emigrating?

We only have contact with his son on weekends, and the places that do
medicals are only open during the week.
We are not dealing with a rational parent though - she is completely
nuts!
She stopped contact because my hubby wanted to talk to his son about a
death in family. My hubbys grandfather passed away, and she wouldnt let
him see or talk to his son!
If she finds out that we take him for a medical, she would certainly
stop contact.
We have already told him about our plans, but he doesnt want his mum to
find out, because he knows how she'll react.
He is 13 next week, and i would love to fight for custody, but it would
be too costly, and 9 times out of 10 they go in favour of the mother.
I dont want this to be an issue for our application, but are concerned
that it will affect it now.

Tracey

Katsmajic

> We only have contact with his son on weekends, and the places that do
> medicals are only open during the week.
> We are not dealing with a rational parent though - she is completely
> nuts!
> She stopped contact because my hubby wanted to talk to his son about a
> death in family. My hubbys grandfather passed away, and she wouldnt
> let him see or talk to his son!
> If she finds out that we take him for a medical, she would certainly
> stop contact.
> We have already told him about our plans, but he doesnt want his mum
> to find out, because he knows how she'll react.
> He is 13 next week, and i would love to fight for custody, but it
> would be too costly, and 9 times out of 10 they go in favour of the
> mother.
> I dont want this to be an issue for our application, but are concerned
> that it will affect it now.
>
> Tracey

We have the dilemma that oh has a son from a previous relationship, he
did see him once a month...until he met me and we had a son...he hasnt
been allowed near his son since...we tried solicitors/court etc but as
oh doesnt have pr we were fighting a losing battle...
then the ex announces that the son isnt his...he is obviously my oh's
son, but on her say so we informed csa we wanted a dna test...as this
could also be used as evidence in a contact battle/court case...she
refused the dna test, the csa has been stopped (which is quite good for
us financially but we dont know how affects his son)...
but we cant get to see oh's son, theres no way whatsoever that we could
take him for a medical or ask her too either...she would do her damdest
to throw a spanner in the works for us!

Weve been told to just tell DIMIA everything and hope for the best!
So fingers crossed!!!
Kat xx

Jaj

> We only have contact with his son on weekends, and the places that do
> medicals are only open during the week.
> We are not dealing with a rational parent though - she is completely
> nuts!
> She stopped contact because my hubby wanted to talk to his son about a
> death in family. My hubbys grandfather passed away, and she wouldnt
> let him see or talk to his son!
> If she finds out that we take him for a medical, she would certainly
> stop contact.
> We have already told him about our plans, but he doesnt want his mum
> to find out, because he knows how she'll react.
> He is 13 next week, and i would love to fight for custody, but it
> would be too costly, and 9 times out of 10 they go in favour of the
> mother.
> I dont want this to be an issue for our application, but are concerned
> that it will affect it now.
>
> Tracey

I cannot see how you could contemplate leaving a child behind in these
circumstances, sorry.

And you ought to have some serious discussions with a family law
solicitor - once children reach teenage years, their own views on
custody begin to take a lot more weight. And once he is 16, his mother
cannot legally hold on to him.

Tracemul7

> I cannot see how you could contemplate leaving a child behind in these
> circumstances, sorry.
>
> And you ought to have some serious discussions with a family law
> solicitor - once children reach teenage years, their own views on
> custody begin to take a lot more weight (there's not a great deal that
> can be done legally if a teenager makes up own mind on the subject).
> And once he is 16, his mother cannot legally hold on to him.

It would appear that way to an outside, and I can imagine what you
think, but we will never be able to support ourselves in the UK. We cant
afford to buy a house, as we are renting. We live from week to week,
with no savings for the future.

Moving to Oz will allow us to stay with my mum until we can afford to
buy our own place. We can then save towards the future, and for my
husbands son, B, to go through uni etc.

At the moment, B is stuck between his mum and us. He cares alot for his
mum, and as the 2 of them are alone, he would chose to be with her
because he's scared she'll do something silly. She tried to commit
suicide before, and it left him in such a state - he wouldnt go to
school because he was so worried. His opinion would be considered by the
courts, but in his opinion, his mum needs him, but his dad and I have
eachother.
Without us there, B wouldnt be stuck in the middle, and he would have
the oportunity for holidays with us in Oz, when other family come across
(which would be on a regular basis). He also has alot of family in the
area to keep an eye on him, and to help if he needs them.

This has taken alot of thought, and isnt a decision we have taken
lightly. B knows about it, and is quite happy for us, and we hope in the
future he will join us, even if only for holidays.

We still have debt from the marriage (she walked away with �£20k in her
pocket) and we cannot afford to fight for B in court - believe us, if we
won the lottery its the first thing we'd do.

Tracey

AsadsBride

Hi

How did this go just wanted to see how you managed since now I am also in same situation

please advise

thnx