Matthew Udall

Some of you may recall my Christmas poem from past years. I thought I’d
dust it off and make some changes to it for this year. This poem is
based on the classic poem, “The Night Before Christmas, written by
Clement Clarke Moore.



I will be gone for a few days, but wanted to share this before I go.
Merry Christmas everybody!



-//-



'Twas the night before Christmas

And all across the planet,

Petitioners and beneficiaries

Were starting to panic



“This is taking too long

Who approves these… Gorillas?�

This cry could be heard

From Bangkok to Manila



So many are out there

Trying their best,

To help others through

This whole USCIS mess



There’s Hyper and Dutchman

Decca’s Angel and Clare,

Rene, Sibsie, & Heba,

All posting with care



Mr. Newton and Cutenurse

For approvals they wish,

Same goes for Charlie,

Our resident fish



Mr. Travel would still post

If he moved over to Haiti

I’ll bet he’ll still post

When he’s well over eighty



Tmushen is having

Some RFE delays,

Did his lawyer screw up

With his G-325A’s?



Sea Dave and Bob Austin

Drive DCMark insane

He suspects that they might be

One in the same



Some people get angry

And it’s not from malaria,

More likely a reaction

To Andrew Defaria (sorry Andy, but its hard to find something to rhyme
with Defaria)



We’ve got interesting photos

And interesting art,

Who ever knew

That a smiley could fart?



We’ve got Elvis’ child

And a Dad of Three

We’ve got Kissing A Brit

California Bride and Steffi



The Pinks and the Gardners

Post encouraging words,

As does Meauxna and JEff

And Richard the third



Hunter Green and Karen,

Infotech and Goldrush,

And there’s Leslie who misses

Her Moroccan so much



There are LuTziE & Maggs

Who are posting with joy

Ironporer and Noorah

And a Utopian Cowboy



The best state to live in

Was put to the test

And from the votes that were cast

Seems Colorado is best



“I’m moving to Maine

Cause the NSC sucks!

I want lightning fast time

For my 110 bucks!�



“Last time with my Canadian

Was our time in Niagara�.

“Been so long the next time

I’ll need some Viagara�



“A request for more evidence!�

A poster did say,

“I should have put None

And instead put N/A!�



“I sent in the evidence

For my RFE delay�.

“From the time they’ve projected

It should be finished next May�!



Another report

From the news group it came,

“I just got my greencard

But they misspelled my name!�



“Filed my AP and AOS,

To the U.S. I’m committed�

(But when you use AP

You have not been “admitted�)



“I overstayed my visa

But that wasn’t the plan�

“So I better not leave

Or I’m facing a ban!�



“I’m calling my Congressman

For excessive delays!�

“It should be approved now,

As they’ve had it 10 days!�



“I’m living in Phoenix

And that office is no palace,

So to get faster treatment

I’m moving to Dallas�



IBIS is causing

My case to move slow.

I have a clean record

But my name is John Doe



Because out of the news group

There arose such a clatter,

The USCIS commissioner logged on

To see what was the matter



“We’ve got visas for clergy,

Entertainers and teams�

“We’ll extend ‘em and send ‘em

To fulfill their dreams�



“We’ve got visas for students,

And new student rules�

We’ll approve ‘em and move ‘em

To fill up our schools�



“We’ve got visas for loved-ones

And fiancée’s so dear,

“And their security checks

Might be finished next year�.



The newsgroup exclaimed

“Hey get off your butts,

We’ve paid you our fees

And we’ve given you our trust!�



“Too bad� was the answer

“You are just being nervous�

And if you want information

Call our Customer Service.



“Besides, I’m the boss�

To the Directors he did say,

“On Novak, on Nuefeld,

On, Upchurch and Way�



“But we can’t telephone you�

Someone called out to Way,

Way said "send us a letter

We might read it some day�



Then what to our wondering eyes

Should appear,

The audits are over

The road appears clear



The Commissioner then chuckled

And said with great cheer

“There’s more audits coming,

We’ll be counting next year�



“Moscow is slow now,

But no need to cry foul�

Guangzhou’s slow too…

Take this up with C. Powell�



The Commissioner exclaimed

As he dropped out of sight

“Have her visa in hand

Before you book her a flight�



Merry Christmas one and all!

Sphyrapicus

Originally posted by Matthew Udall

    >

That was awesome Matt. I think we need a laugh around here right now.
Thanks for making me laugh! I won't write ROTFL or put any smilies in
here, as my gift to you.



Merry Christmas

Adiastar

Matt,



That was great! Very Creative!



Have a Very Merry Christmas!



I want to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday!



AdiaStar

Good Luck to all!

Noorah101

Matt, that was wonderful, thank you! I actually did "LOL" several
times!! :-))) Merry Christmas to you too :-)



Rene (Noorah)

Leslie66

Brilliant!!

Bob Austin

Seadave told me to wish everyone a merry christmas



Thanks for the poem.



    

Katesuiter1

Very good job, Matt! But I do feel rather hurt that you missed me out
this year! Only kidding! Have a great holiday!



Kate. xxxx

Sibsie

Totally fantastic Matt. Must have taken you hours. Thanks for the
Christmas cheer.

Sphyrapicus

Originally posted by katesuiter1

    > Very good job, Matt! But I do feel rather hurt that you missed me out
    > this year! Only kidding! Have a great holiday!


    > Kate. xxxx

Here's last year's cast of characters. It really exhibits the turnover
on the site in one year.



There’s Kate and her suitor

She’s back in U.K.

But she hopes to return here

Soon after New Year’s Day



There’s Bobzy and Kami

Cindyabs, Dazeychain;

Gracejilly and Megan

And Going Insane



Matta Harri and Keebee

Newyorker and Ange,

Osaeed, Pimpbot, Claudia,

So many cool names



There’s Stevelisa W

And Monty their Dog

There are tips on being British

From the Pagan Sex God



There is Rita who renders

Her unlicensed advice.

Usually accurate,

And usually nice



There’s Folinskyinla,

AILA Friend and a scholar,

When “I� need advice

I give him a holler



Some voices are silent

And don’t stay in touch

What happened to Grinch,

Alvena and Dutch?

Hypertweeky

Originally posted by Matthew Udall

    > Some of you may recall my Christmas poem from past years. I thought
    > I’d dust it off and make some changes to it for this year. This poem
    > is based on the classic poem, “The Night Before Christmas, written by
    > Clement Clarke Moore.


    > I



Thanks for the poem