sobol1978@hotmail.com

I was a student on F-1 when i met him. we did feel inlove. At the
beginning of my last semester i got pregnant. we got maried. He was a
resident eligible for citizenship. He applied and got it in 1 year.
That's when we sent I-485 and I-130 (feb 2004, NYC local office, I was
still on OPT) Now our son is 2 and still waiting for my papers and
things are getting ugly at home between my husband and me. I'm afraid
that one day that might end up with divorce. Since NYC office is not
rushing... what would be my options?
I will never give up my son and i really wish he can grow up around his
father. I really love my husband but i won't let him treat me like a
slave.
Please help!!

ian-mstm

> I was a student on F-1 when i met him. we did feel inlove. At the
> beginning of my last semester i got pregnant. we got maried. He was a
> resident eligible for citizenship. He applied and got it in 1 year.
> That's when we sent I-485 and I-130 (feb 2004, NYC local office, I was
> still on OPT) Now our son is 2 and still waiting for my papers and
> things are getting ugly at home between my husband and me. I'm afraid
> that one day that might end up with divorce. Since NYC office is not
> rushing... what would be my options?
> I will never give up my son and i really wish he can grow up around
> his
> father. I really love my husband but i won't let him treat me like a
> slave.
> Please help!!

If you divorce *and* you have not yet had your AOS interview, you very
quickly run out of options. Your AOS is based on your marriage to a
USC... so, no marriage, no adjustment. I don't believe that your son's
status as a USC can help you. However, if there is evidence of abuse
(more than just "he said" or "he did"... I mean documented proof in the
form of police reports or something similar), you can apply for a waiver
with which to continue the adjustment process on your own.

That said, it's sad that you seem to be worrying more about your
immigration status than the safety of you or your son!

Ian

Jenney & Mark

> If you divorce *and* you have not yet had your AOS interview, you very
> quickly run out of options. Your AOS is based on your marriage to a
> USC... so, no marriage, no adjustment. I don't believe that your son's
> status as a USC can help you. However, if there is evidence of abuse
> (more than just "he said" or "he did"... I mean documented proof in
> the form of police reports or something similar), you can apply for a
> waiver with which to continue the adjustment process on your own.
>
> That said, it's sad that you seem to be worrying more about your
> immigration status than the safety of you or your son!
>
> Ian

I totally agree. The last two sentences in her post seem completely
contradictory:

"I will never give up my son and i really wish he can grow up around
his father."

"I really love my husband but i won't let him treat me like a slave."

If your husband treats you like a slave, why on earth would you want
your child around him to see that? I would think that in order to help
raise your son to understand that women are to be valued and not treated
like property, you would want that child as far away as possible from
the man who treats his mother like a slave!

~ Jenney

sobol1978@hotmail.com

i should now have to explain myself by i just don't like what you guys
are writing here.
My immigration status is the last thing i'm worry about.
My husband and I are not phisically fighting, there is a lot of verbal
fighting - that's all.
All i'm worry is my son.
I just can't imagine some American judge to give me full custody over
my son, i would think my husband would be here in better situation
since her is USC. And i can' t imagine join custody either with me
living on the other side of the world.

Ann

<> wrote in message
news:...
>i should now have to explain myself by i just don't like what you guys
> are writing here.
> My immigration status is the last thing i'm worry about.
> My husband and I are not phisically fighting, there is a lot of verbal
> fighting - that's all.
> All i'm worry is my son.
> I just can't imagine some American judge to give me full custody over
> my son, i would think my husband would be here in better situation
> since her is USC. And i can' t imagine join custody either with me
> living on the other side of the world.
>

Hi - I totally empathize with your situation. And why shouldn't you be
concerned about your immigration status. You have been through so much pain
and anxiety; why shouldn't you try and stay here in the US and bring up your
son in relative comfort.

I hope things work out for you. By the way, I have heard that it is not
totally impossible for you to have your status adjusted to permanent
resident even if your marriage breaks down totally. You obviously married
this man in good faith. if I were you I would speak to an experienced
lawyer. Good luck.

cisdelay

You have good faith marriage. Based on your words right now if you tell
the same to a CIS official after you divorce I can tell you upfront
that you won't be approved through the I-360 form of violence against
women act VAWA.

You need the following to be approved under I-360:
Good faith marriage: you have a son so you are fine, just save common
bills and common financial responsibility between you and your spouse
at a friends house, make lots of copies.

Battery or extreme hardship caused by your spouse: you don't seem to
have that, verbal arguments are nothing, he didn't go with another
woman, he didn't hit you, he didn't lock the door on you and caused you
to be depressed, you didn't seek shelter, you didn't seek depression
treatment, you didn't file a police report or a protective order, your
spouse wansn't on drugs or alcohol 80% of the time;

or was it? any of the above? actually you might need 4 of the above
to be "OK" under vawa. so sit tight and see what is going on with your
husband and don't let the greencard metal disorder distroy your son's
life. Or do you not love him anymore? if thats the case I am afraid
your other option is to leave your son.

I am with you, just trying to help

ian-mstm

> i should now have to explain myself by i just don't like what you guys
> are writing here.
> My immigration status is the last thing i'm worry about.
> My husband and I are not phisically fighting, there is a lot of verbal
> fighting - that's all.
> All i'm worry is my son.
> I just can't imagine some American judge to give me full custody over
> my son, i would think my husband would be here in better situation
> since her is USC. And i can' t imagine join custody either with me
> living on the other side of the world.

Child custody is handled through family court. Immigration is handled
through a federal court. The two are not dependent on each other. Try to
keep the two issues separate.

Ian

psychobabbler1

> i should now have to explain myself by i just don't like what you guys
> are writing here.
> My immigration status is the last thing i'm worry about.
> My husband and I are not phisically fighting, there is a lot of verbal
> fighting - that's all.
> All i'm worry is my son.
> I just can't imagine some American judge to give me full custody over
> my son, i would think my husband would be here in better situation
> since her is USC. And i can' t imagine join custody either with me
> living on the other side of the world.

Bruises heal a lot more quickly than verbal/emotional abuse. Don't be
fooled
by thinking that just because there's no physical abuse present that
it's not as damaging. Men who are abusive to women nearly always
learn it from being in a home where it's present and condoned. If
this is happening in your situation, you might want to re-think wanting
your son to grow up learning this. JMO. Best of luck in whatever you
decide to do.