> I agree with everyone who said to remember that, ultimately, this day
> is about you and your love for each other, not making everyone else
> happy. However, I know it's usually not as easy as all that. It's not
> as if you can say that and everyone will respond with, "Oh, you're
> absolutely right -- how rude of us to butt in. Please forgive us, and
> carry on and do whatever YOU want to do!"
> I suppose it comes down to compromise, really. Just because people
> expect "a wedding" doesn't mean you have to provide them with whatever
> THEY think the wedding should be like. In other words, if they want to
> spend their money to come see you get married, let them -- but don't
> apologize if it involves them standing around for 10 minutes in your
> backyard with a Justice of the Peace, followed by a BBQ dinner. (Or
> just cake, for that matter -- even more cost-effective!)
> In our case, we had a very small wedding in June 2003. Mark and I got
> married by a JOP ($100 fee) by a gazebo on a lake on my old college
> campus in some nice clothes but nothing fancy. I made my own bouquet
> and veil, as well as Mark's boutonniere (all about $50). My
> brother/photographer, sis-in-law and 2-year-old nephew/ring bearer
> were the only ones in attendance. The whole thing took about 15
> minutes. Afterwards we treated my brother and sis-in-law to a superb,
> 2-hour FEAST at The Melting Pot fondue restaurant (about $160, tip
> included).
> A few months later, Mark's parents and grandmother came to visit us in
> the States for a couple of weeks. Leading up to this visit, we planned
> on getting everyone together in Richmond on one of the weekends they
> were here. My parents came from North Carolina, and my grandparents
> came from Maryland. We all met up at my brother's house and went to
> lunch at a small Italian restaurant just down the road. Mark and I
> checked it all out beforehand and decided we could afford lunch for 11
> people. The total ended up being $160 with tip (again!). Our families
> had never met before and this was a great opportunity for them to do
> so. Everyone had a great time and it was very relaxing because there
> was no "wedding" stuff to handle at the same time.
> No matter what you decide to do, it might make it easier to keep in
> mind that it's sort of nice that so many people want to share your
> special day with you. Some people (many on this site, I suspect) don't
> have family members who are able or willing to go to the trouble of
> attending their weddings, no matter how lavish. So the fact that you
> are not in that position shows that people care enough about you as a
> couple to want to be there. :)
> ~ Jenney
We had the best wedding in the world and only our parents were there. We
went to Hawaii and got married on the beach. It worked out SOOOOOOOO
much cheaper than having a big wedding. We wanted to go to Mexico to do
it, to make it even cheaper, but since I couldn't leave the country,
that was out of the question. However, a good friend of mine did
something similiar, but got married on the beach in Florida. All ya need
is your family, some candles, and maybe a white sheet on the groupd. I
wouldnt change a thing about ours - sooo glad that we didnt have a big
wedding, invite tons of people (inevitably leave someone out), and spend
tons of cash. Plus, we have the most beautiful wedding photos I've ever
seen. Hawaii at sunset... mmm :)